My Stupid Cellphone Addict (Diner Dash Love Story)
by ShySofteeNerd
Summary: It was all fine and dandy 'til the Cellphone Addict showed up. He's cost the restaurant some money with his unwanted noise. Interestingly, this guy fancies one of the waitstaff, who silently hates his guts. A silly story I wrote 'cuz of my friend lol. I hit a block towards the middle, sorry, RIP. Colin the Cellphone Addict - Diner Dash series
1. Beginning Evening

It was a normal February evening shift in Tony's Pizzeria, the aroma of fresh pizza was present in the air. It's always a great day tending to tables, being able to serve such friendly faces in town. Well, almost. Usually this place was a peaceful, quiet restaurant, our regulars consisting of young ladies, businesswomen, bookworms, and families that barely caused a fuss. But ever since last week, a new regular has started to grab a bite here. He was a businessman named Colin, and dear god was he annoying! Ever since this dumbass came along, he's done nothing but talk, talk, talk on that damn cellphone of his! It wouldn't be such a big deal if he wasn't so loud! All he's done is cause trouble for the poor customers, especially the bookworm guy!

As I deliver a meal to a family beside the entrance, I hear the doorbell and am greeted by a winter breeze. Speak of the devil, there he was, striding towards the heart-shaped podium. As much as I don't want to serve him at all, I don't have much choice, it'll cost this place valuable money if he leaves! I walk up to the podium grumbling to myself, then put on my best smile. Gotta keep up my patronage.

"Hi! Nice to see you again, Colin! How are you today?" I greet, taking a menu from the podium. "Hey there, buddy! Today's great, but I have a meeting in 10, can we make it quick?" With one flick of his wrist, he shoots me with a finger-gun and grins. I subtly roll my eyes as I lead Colin to an empty table. Thankfully the place wasn't packed, so I was able to seat him in a corner away from the others. After jotting down his usual, I rush to the kitchen counter and stick it on the spinny thingy.

It's gonna be a couple minutes for the order to be ready, so I take the time to check on the customers. And by that I mean just watch what that cheeky Cellphone Addict was up to, peeking at him from behind a pillar. It hasn't even been a minute yet and the dimwit was already yakking away on his phone! Shocker. Ugh, just looking at his rectangular face irritated me! I just didn't get how he could be such an inconvenience to others with his lack of awareness. It made him come across as a dick most of the time, he's even caused some customers to leave due to his motor mouth! How rude!

I can hear him talk all the way from here. He nods as he says, "Oh yeah, I'm waiting for my food right now! It's taking a bit long though, I wonder what's taking so long?"

Oh please, it's only been a minute! Why is he so impatient all the time? That was another thing I disliked so much about him. He was not only noisy, but was also a pain 'cuz he expected us to work at the speed of light! Not even Barb the Businesswoman was this hot-wired! It must be because he thinks he's better than all of us, being this big money hot shot from Big Corp and all. Ha, what a joke! He does pay a decent amount though, the only upside to serving the irritating Cellphone Addict.

I hear the dinner bell ring, and soon I've set Colin's food in front of him. "Thanks! Looks good as always! Almost as good as-!" Ring-a-ling-a-ling! "Oh, sorry! Gotta answer this!" He answers the phone again as he takes a bite. Classic Colin. 


	2. Minutes of eating later

Customers were about ready to check out with sated appetites. It was Colin's turn to pay up, I was a little more lenient with him today since no one else was around to hear his noise. Colin looks up at me when I place his check on the table, and there he goes, giving me that trademark grin of his again. Though I hate admitting it, Colin has very handsome features for such a dimwitted chatterbox. I have heard gossip around town that there are some females that fancy him for his fair skin, blond spiked hair, blue eyes, slim build, and of course that confident smile.

Despite this, no one has asked him out because of his verbose nature. Gosh, sometimes it would be because Colin would not notice when someone was speaking to him, let alone asking him out! Talk about selective hearing, or maybe he's just downright deaf 'cuz of that cellphone addiction! I must say I am surprised I can make small talk with the guy at least!

I remember there was that one case when he dated that mustached corporate boss's daughter, Vicky Big. I heard things were going steady until Colin proposed to her, which Vicky rejected. Then they broke up and that was that, relationship over. I think she dodged a bullet there, Colin would have probably talked her ear off! I wonder how she was able to even tolerate the guy in the first place, let alone have a conversation face-to-face! Maybe all their conversations were over the phone.

"Hey!" Colin's call breaks my train of thought. "You mind if I ask you somethin'?" Wait a minute, is he actually talking to me? I decide to roll with it and grant him permission with a nod. "Well, let me just get this out there, I like you! Would yoooou...like to go out with me sometime?" At such a request I gawk at him, speechless. I couldn't believe it at first, that this man, the cellphone guy, has asked me out. I never been asked out before, I had no clue what to say! Besides, a guy like him was definitely NOT my type! He's inconsiderate, way too noisy, and impatient!

However, I think it over. I look over Colin more thoroughly, he's got his eyes drooped in a charming way, the grin still present, awaiting my answer as he twiddles his striped tie. Guess he really is serious about all this. "You're really asking me?" I needed to know why.

"Yeah, well, I like talking with you and I think you're pretty cute. I want to get to know you better!" Gah, so straightforward! Hm, perhaps if I give this a shot, I could get to know him better as well. Oooooor...maybe this would be the perfect way to give the cellguy exactly what he deserved! Just think, he's always gotten away with running off the customers because it would be worse for the restaurant if a scene was caused. But what if the date went successfully, then we got together and went on more dates, then at some point we'd end up sleeping together, right? That would be the perfect time for vengeance!

I could see it now. Once we would get on the bed, I'd make sure I was laying on top of him. And when he least expects it, I would grab a hold of his neck with both hands and strangle him 'til he passes out! Now that I think about it, it sounds pretty harsh, but c'mon, they do it in cartoons. Besides, I didn't plan on killing him, but this was the only thing I could think of to release all that resentment. Afterwards, I'd take all his money he's cost me...and maybe a few other things. I should bring a marker too so I can draw on his face! Yes, perfect! That'd probably leave him heartbroken, too!

I realize that I've been staring at Colin in deep thought for around a minute. "Ah, sorry. It was worth a shot though, right. I'll see you later," he sighs, getting up from his seat as he takes his leave. "Wait!" I grab hold of his shoulder, his head turns to me, eyebrows raised. "Ahem, uh, yeah, I'll go out with you! I'm off tomorrow, so...?" Immediately Colin's eyes light up, he takes hold of my hands and shakes it exuberantly, as if he just closed a good deal. "Great, great! Here, take this." He hands me a business card, it read his name with a phone number under it. "Call me, that way we'll have each others numbers! We can make a date then!"

Colin checks the clock on the wall. "Oh, would you look at that! I gotta get goin'! But I'll see you later, for sure! Remember to call me!" he says hastily as he speedwalks out of the restaurant, waving goodbye as he lifts his cellphone to his ear.

"Don't worry, I'll remember!"

Yeah, I'll remember alright. I hope the customers don't notice the semi-malicious smile creeping up my cheeks. 


	3. The next day

I sat on the porch of my home, playing a diner type game on my phone. I had called Colin last night and we had made plans to go out to the movies. I dressed in simple casual clothing for the occasion. I was interested how well a movie theater and a cellphone addict would mesh together. Not well I bet, but it was worth seeing, I suppose.

Colin said he would be here to pick me up by 6. I look at the clock on my phone: 5: 59. As soon as it turned 6, I hear two beeps from a car horn. A sleek, red convertible pulls up on the lightly snow covered curb. I approach the passenger side, its window rolls down, Colin's smile shining from the other side. He's wearing a pink button-up shirt with light blue jeans. "You ready?"

A short car ride full of small talk later, we arrive at the movie theater. It was actually...kind of nice, until he had to answer a call for some "Bob". We grab our tickets, then Colin, holding his phone by the shoulder, goes to buy one large popcorn with two sodas. "Here!" He holds a soda out to me. "All this popcorn will definitely make you thirsty!"

"Oh, thanks!" I take a long sip of the sweet goodness as we settle down into our seats, then put my drink in the cupholder. The lights shut off as a prompt popped up on the big-screen to turn off all cellphones. "Welp, gotta go, Bob! I'll tell you more about the date later!" Colin hangs up, then powers off his phone, slipping it in his pocket. I wholly expected him to be making calls during the movie, and well, annoy the people watching! Well, guess this was just gonna be an average movie date then.

Ten minutes in, I feel tapping on my shoulder. "Hey, you like the movie so far?" Colin whispers to me. "Yeah, it's alright, I guess. This is the Sonic movie, right?"

"Yeah. Remember when they showed the first trailer with this Sonic guy? Man, if they woulda went with that design, they'd have to name the movie Sonic the HUMAN RAT!" I burst out laughing, then quickly cover my mouth. It wasn't because I had laughed out loud or anything, I just had this real embarrassing laugh where I would snort. "Haha, yeah, pretty funny, right? Cute laugh, by the way." Colin throws some popcorn in his mouth.

"Yeah, but you forget, Sonic was actually a deformed cat, because, uhhhhhhh, meow?" I mimic Sonic's movements from the trailer, Colin bursts out chuckling. "Ha ha, good one!" We were both making noise like a couple of rambunctious elementary students! "Shhhhhhhhh!" A crowd from up front is glaring at our direction. "Oh! Sorry!" I chuckle nervously, embarrassed. I feel Colin's arm wrap around my shoulder. "Ah, don't worry, we can still enjoy the movie. Let's make sure we keep quiet, though."

We continue to watch the movie, all the while poking fun at it. 


	4. Days pass by

I've been seeing the Cellphone Addict for quite a while now. We've become a couple ever since the first date. I expected to be annoyed by a guy who would always be on the phone when I would see him at the restaurant. I really thought I would end up hating him even more, but...I actually like hanging out with Colin! He actually talks to me instead of always being on that dang cellphone. And when he talked to me, he always sounded so happy and energetic. No, I did not expect this at all, but I can't let that steer me away from my initial plan to give the man comeuppance for his noisy sins.

At this moment, Colin had taken me to his abode. It was an apartment building in Bistro Bay, damn did it look luxurious! We step out of the elevator, our footsteps echoing through the long hallway. Holding my hand, Colin leads me to his apartment door, 401. He unlocks the door and pushes it open, gesturing me to go first. As soon as I enter, I'm startled by loud squawking. Oh my gosh, there's a scarlet macaw parrot perched on a wooden stand!

Colin gently pets the parrot. "Hey there, Avery! Say hello to your new buddy!"

"Hello! Hello!" Avery waves her wing at you, smiling just like her owner. I figured Colin would have a parrot as a friend. Fitting match.

After watching comedy reruns on Netflix, Colin took me to his bedroom. It was clean and well organized, with a drawer by the window. A well-sized bed sat by the wall, with a mounted flat-screen on the opposite side. I couldn't even afford a TV in my room, how lucky he was! We take a seat on the side of the bed, for a second it's silent. Was this the part where we...you know, did the whole "love-making" or something? I was still kinda new to this, with no dates and all. I only ever been to senior prom with my friends!

"So, uh, hey..." Colin places his hand onto mine, lifting it up to his chest. Gah, the way he's looking at me is making me melt inside! He didn't have that smug, droopy look on his face, either. No, his eyes were fully open with a huge smile. I knew he was cute, but being this close to him...it made me feel warm. Without another word, Colin slowly leans forward, I knew exactly what was coming. I closed my eyes, and as predicted, I felt a pair of lips meet mine. My first kiss. I taste a hint of spearmint gum, guess I scored, huh? Man, he's really good at kissing. Soon he pulls away.

"...I love you. I want to be with you." Colin has both my hands now, squeezing them gently. "I want to express my love...through passionate hugging!" He pulls me to him, trapping me in a hug. "Gah, you move so fast!" I exclaim. I wonder if this is why his ex left him, maybe she was overwhelmed by how fast Colin moved things. I didn't mind it. Besides, it was necessary for the plan.

"I know, I know, but I really mean it! Call me corny, but when I first met you, I thought you were really cute! You're sweet, fun, and get all my jokes! We fit just like a puzzle!" Colin glances out the window, and for the first time ever, he looks quite vulnerable. He takes a deep sigh. "I really want someone I can talk to everyday, someone I can tell even the craziest things to. I know it's been a few days, but I feel like I can tell you everything." Yikes, all those bad thoughts I had about him, now I kinda feel like an asshole. Was he really as bad as I thought he was? There's no way such an oblivious noisy bonehead was this emotional. Maybe this was a clone?

"I won't rush things this time, okay? We'll start slow." Huh? Oh, I was so caught up in my own mind that I didn't realize Colin was helping my hands unbutton his shirt! Well, halfway at least, but I was able to see part of his bare chest. God, he's attractive, for such a...for such a...ugh, I don't know, I can't think of anything at all, it's getting all hot, I can't speak! In a swift motion, Colin plops his back onto the bed, with me above him! "You first," he offers with a wink.

Wow, my heart sure is pounding! Colin's left himself completely open to me. It's just how I imagined it. Gulp. My hands hover over his chest, slowly inching towards his neck. This was my chance to get back at him for all the customers he's cost me. But...he continues to gaze at me with such admiration. He's serious about all this, isn't he? I...I can't bring myself to do it.

"Huh? Somethin' wrong?" Colin sits up slightly, his eyebrow is arched, curious. I was too busy reflecting over everything to speak. Colin's confused, but then he laughs, taking my hands in his. "Don't worry, I know what's going on."

He does?

"You're so cute when you get all shy, y'know that? Here..." Colin gently flips us over so now he's the one on top of me.

"I'll take it from here."  



	5. The next morning

"Morning! Morning!"

I wake up to Avery's morning squawking, I hope she isn't an alarm clock. The sun rays break through the curtains, illuminating the room. There's an empty space where Colin was, he must've went to work. Early bird gets the worm, I suppose.

"Breakfast for you!" Avery chirps, flying onto a tray table near my side of the bed. There's a plate of waffles with whipped cream shaped as a heart atop it, with a mug of coffee on the side. A sticky note was on the front of the mug, a smiley face, heart, and a cursive C scribbled on it in marker. Breakfast in bed? Well, a way to a woman's heart is her stomach, right? Look like Colin's got me for good.

Avery tweets a little tune and says:

"Happy Valentines' Day! Love, Colin!" 


End file.
